Monday, November 26, 2012


So I made a free account. also checked out
I hate it. I really do. I flip through people, and just feel not interested, and broken, and anxious, and hurt. My intuition keeps flashing WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG at me.
I don't know to keep trying or just give up for awhile. ugh, I need to figured out where the hell I put my taro deck...

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Samhain Never Lies

Samhain readings never lie, sadly. Too much to put into words, so I wont even try. What happens will happen, what will be will be, what was mean to happen is, what is meant to happen will. But I will always be here if you need me, and I'll always love you. 

I hate trying to move on. Why do things have to hurt so much? I'm so tired of hurting. I just want to be happy again.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Walk to Defeat ALS®: Richmond Walk

Walk to Defeat ALS®: Richmond Walk

In memory of my mom and this horrible disease, and the others who face it, I am getting up and doing something about it. It may not be much, but I am walking. I am not a scientist and cannot work on a cure, but I can do something to help raise money. I am trying to raise $1000 and currently have $75. If anyone would like to donate, even if just $1 it would mean a great deal to me. Or even just pass this link onto friends and family. This is a disease like many others no one should have to live with. This means a lot to me, even thinking about this walk makes me hold back tears. I've got some people planning to walk with me too which is nice. Thank you to everyone for the support!

Monday, October 1, 2012

life moves on, my summer...questionable

Well I've been away for awhile. A lot has been going on. Mostly bad things. I don't feel like posting any of them. But yeah, the past 6 months have been very, very hard.

so, its October, yea!!!!! I'm still poor. Currently I am working a part time job I hate, but I at least have thus part time job which is super important and I am very thankful. But due to bills, my money is gone as soon as I get it. I've been hunting for jobs, and applying, and have had a few interviews, but mostly get there 'we're not interested'. Its hard, having hurt my back and about to go mental from customers I am desperate to get out of retail. But I don't want to drive or sell things either. So its hard. Even if I got another part time retail job, I want something as a career. My degree is just not doing what I had intended with the economy the way it is.

I really want things to change. This month needs to be amazing. There are several family b-days and I've got a few things I would like to get or do.
Off to relax, working on coin rings to sell as well! :D

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

how to make eye kohl

Took this photo last night as I was makin' me kohl. Use a natural candle, flame touching the bottom of a silver spoon. When it builds up, scrape it into a li'l tin (left). Once you've got plenty of soot in the tin, drop about three or four drops (ish) of melted ghee or coconut oil and stir until it's the thickness of toothpaste. Apply with a brush. This is my third batch and I won't go back to commercial nonsense. Ever. Love, Arbibi
Pinned via web
Thumbnail of Rachel Brice
Rachel Brice
PS: For day, not for stage. Lasts about like lipgloss. Put in your purse for multiple applications per day. ♥

While i dont use this myself I thought it quite interesting :)

Thursday, June 14, 2012


hmm tops. Tops I would look good in, (I need serious help there...shhhh...its supposed to be a secret...but not really. I'm a large due to the em...yeah. if its tight, xl. Myself and figuring out stylish things and what looks good on me do not work well. I would appreciate help from the awesome stylish friends I have, even advice! only things, I hate lace and like spaghetti straps.)

oh i also have an older kindle and a new nook so giftcards to amazon and barnes and noble are always good :D
and chocolate
and total wines
oh also

2 small meade glasses (Cause you have to have a friend right?)

any actual meade from them would be fantastic too but that requires a trip to maryland which i dont expect
<3 so just some ideas on a list of things for me to do at somepoint

Birthday Wishes

So July 9th I turn the dreaded 26, mostly because I want to stay 25 forever and health insurance and work sucks and finding a new job sucks and blah blah blah you don't want to hear it.

So, I have a wish list of things that I would like, not really expecting anything but I am going to put it out there because I can :) money is always good but for anyone who likes items- well then again these are expensive so maybe this should just be a list of things I would like to eventually own...
Balanced sword, and the good kind. id tech like 2, but i can happily start with 1.

and the dvd how to use it would be awesome too

Dash Kaleen burnout tank in L

All shoes size 7

okay these are my favorite, but they dont have size 7 so size 6 1/2, black leather



Saturday, April 28, 2012

Mug Cakes

Okay I won't post anymore horrible-for-you-but-delicious foods tonight after this :) enjoy!


So this should be a fall post but I just found a wonderful food blog and the pumpkin section is amazing!!! had to share the recipes!

Cannot wait for fall, make my allergies get better (slightly, there is the mold problem)
All pictures are copyright to the owner of the blog

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies

Wednesday, April 25, 2012


I just ran across this site and think its amazing and very clever. taking fashion and the marvel world by storm :)
you can click on the majority of the links and be taken to this site where it takes you and shows you the clothes

my absolute favorite it does not show the clothes for though :( I love my deadpool. and this outfit is badass.
and while Rogue is my favorite, her color scheme is a bit hard to work with, not loving this so much
But loving a bunch of others.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Black Bear Bistro & Cellar

So Id love to blog about something positive, and since being introduced to this place several weeks ago by my friends Paul and Kate, I fell in love deeply with this place.

If you live near or can decide the drive to Warrenton, VA. Black Bear Bistro & Cellar is an AMAZING experience!

The food was absolutely amazing. Everything is organic, farmers market from that day fresh, or US grain fed animals, Seafood is also US. We had some chips to start off with drinks with a thyme gravy. The three flavors were amazing, getting the different hints of flavors, like drinking good wine.

The thyme gravy had that perfect kick of being thick and home made, that alone with the home made chips might have made me happy for the night. but no, then they asked for curry sauce....curry sauce? With chips? OMG..... I was drooling over chips. Kate got a white bean soup she shared with me, also fantastic. The chips also were not the super thing things you normally get, they were cut slightly thicker, but not super greasy.

We all got different things. Paul got their basic house burger. and let me have a piece. I very much understand why this is his all time favorite. They take grass fed beef, and put corn-beef on top. This made no sense to me until I tasted it. Sounds kinda weird....I really cannot keep describing the same words over and over so just trust me when I say GO TRY IT!

Kate and I got similar entrees. I got the crab cake sandwich and she got the crab cake. Now one thing I've always hated, especially even having worked at a seafood restaurant, was you pay $10-20 for one or two teeny tiny little crab cakes which are a little bit of crab meat with lots of breadcrumbs and filler.


For $6 you get, a sandwich the size of your fist with first knuckles spread, of CRAB, let me reiterate this, CRAB MEAT, with only spices and mayonnaise. Then your bun, lettuce, tomato, and choice of side.

I almost died  from sheer joy when Kate told me this. So I got to happily munch on a huge crab sandwich with homemade fries, thyme gravy, curry sauce, soda (bad me) and then had dessert.

Dessert as the rest of the meal, was amazing. I had a chocolate cake, and brought some home to my grandmother cause I had to share something this good. Kate and Paul had a Strawberry Key lime Pie. Yes, I got a bite and wow. The chef here is a genius. It tasted like a strawberry smoothie, with a hint of the key lime, in a pie.

Overall, I think my entire bill for an amazing meal for myself, $15.00 including tip. For the amount of really amazing food we had, beyond reasonable.

Also all of their drinks use fresh fruit, you can see on the website :) So if your in the area, please check this place out, they are beyond worth it! You also may want to call ahead for reservations.

Needless to say, I have been dying to go back.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Now for some fun!

Pumpkin Ravioli!!!

Botticelli if his models has been a size 0, very interesting. Really gives us a good view on women having curves and our brains melting at how weird they look without them.

The Island of Misnamed Toys
Currently one of my favorite youtube videos

Seriously its NOT A CHALLENGE!!!!! This month has been horrible. As has last month. This needs to stop, right now, end of discussion.

  • My mom passed. 
  • One of our dogs had to be put down due to an accident
  • Pulled my back at work and am on workers comp. Thus not many hours, little pay. Though that is better than none at all.
  • My car needs some decent work and as stated above
  • Car does not want to start, thus emergency work. lovely. 
  • A very close member of my family who is on dialysis and having breathing problems was diagnosed with having two cancerous tumors and needs them surgically removed (one is on his hand, and he is a graphic artist). 

please pretty please, no more bad stuff. I need good things now ok?

Missing Mommy

So the hardest time for me right now, is grief. Grieving, the lack of it, the confusion, emotions, etc. She passed away March 1, 2012 from Lou Gehrig's disease. Symptoms to passing, 3 years. Mom's battle was quick and rough. But we did everything we could, loved her, took care of her, eventually hospice became involved, who were absolutely wonderful, and our amazing CNA Mayra. It was hard, hard on everyone. My grandmother was her main caretaker, and me, her daughter, her other one. It's a horrible, horrible disease. I would never wish it upon anyone; it leaves people questioning why it exists. Thankfully moms’ passing was quick, quiet, not in pain, not afraid.

It was hard, it still is. So many things left behind. I've been pushing myself to go through things, donations, sell, keep. It becomes very difficult, finding old things you remember as a child, but have no room for, or use for. What to do with them? Would you decorate your house with it? Drawing to the basics is very difficult. Cleaning I found some interesting things, foreign coins, stamps, pictures. Tons of pictures, so many pictures I have no idea what to do with them all. I have no room for them all. Should be interesting to say the least. 

Numbness comes and goes. I found a perfume vial that reminds me of when I was little, I decided to keep it. I won't wear it but I know some days I may have a meltdown because I can't trigger certain memories. Smelling the perfume made me think of being hugged and her hair in my face. Things were not always easy, but she was my mom, and she will always be with me. She is not in a world of pain or grief, lies or suffering.

Finding some papers that should not go into the trash, we luckily have a wood burner outside that sufficed. I like fire and somehow watching the papers burn was very soothing. I could imagine all the painful emotions simply going away, being cleansed, and purified. 

ALS is a horrible disease; your body becomes a shell while your mind is intact and able to think. I cannot believe nor could even try to comprehend what my mom went through. But I know she had us there for her, she had her family. I know she will always be with me and she loves me very much. I love you mom, and I miss you. There are many strides being made with ALS in science, I can only pray soon, they will find a cure.

Thank you to all of the people who have and who still are helping me through this time; family,rob, kim, jason, pete, charlie, brugioni clan, kate & paul, leeper family, feepit crew, mayra, melanie, and anyone who I've forgotten. It means more to me than I can say, I love you all. <3

Cheesecake Stuffed Strawberries

These aren't anything complicated. With five ingredients, they take only a few minutes to put together. In fact, these were probably the least time-intensive food at my
 Cheesecake Extravaganza. Yet, I had more than a few people come up and proclaim their love for the finger food.
recipe under the cut

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Come to the Dark Side: Fluffy Bunny Meets Kali

This is copied from my friend Kate, who wrote this article and I am currently reading and find quite interesting.
Her website is here

Come to the Dark Side: Fluffy Bunny Meets Kali

Fluffy Bunny Test
1. Runes are
a) nice symbols invented by the Celts who also built Stonehenge and were very, very nice people who were raped and pillaged by the nasty Vikings who also stole their runes?
b) not what I would get into because they can be and often are used for evil
c) an ancient alphabet that is used for divination and you can also put them on candles for meditation for good luck and things like that
d) a very powerful magical system which originates from the ancient Teutonic cultures

How to annoy your cashier; or how to behave accordingly at the grocery store:

Working as a cashier, there are a lot of things that are very annoying that happen at a grocery store, and many, you don’t realize until you work there. It tests both the limits of cashier and customer on a daily basis. All jobs have trials and dealing with various problems. Here are some things to think about the next time you go to the grocery store

This website has it all down perfectly

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Just because I love food I'm sharing a recipe, it is AMAZING!!!! I made some changes too…I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!
Moroccan Spiced Chickpea Soup

 Why Shimmying Sideways?

Well honestly because I cannot come up with names and one of my dear friends, Anne, came up with the name and I loved the meaning behind it.

Shimmying in bellydance is where you vibrate your butt or your hips, pulling muscles to create a back and forth motion, which visually appears up and down. Creating a vibration
In essence, you cannot shimmy sideways. Your muscles do not move that way. It is the same as trying to bend your arm left at a right angle at the elbow.

In her words “My personal vote is "Shimmying Sideways" for making life work no matter what is thrown at you.”
This concept reminds me of the saying, “when life hands you lemons, make lemonade” I hate that saying, and all the lemon ones. They make sense but they are not inspirational to me, I don’t know why. The one I really love, is “when life gives you lemons, make grape juice and sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it”.

This past month has been hard, very hard. Things I don’t need to put on a public blog. But I am trying to work through them. I have my family and some good friends helping me through it. In essence, this is why the name fits, so anne this is for you ^_^. And special shout outs to Kate and Kristen for ideas as well! ^*^  

Greetings, my name is Brenna, I' am in 25, and still trying to figure out this blog, Alexis save me! I love how your blog looks and can’t figure this stupid thing out! Though I will warn everyone, I cannot for the life of me spell. I will on occasion curse, so please, if it bothers you, don't read my blog. I don't like nitpickers. So about me, too much to try to explain, you will learn much. I love to make jewelry and art. I love bellydance, specifically gothic style and would love to learn ATS. I don’t claim to be that good at it though. There is a good deal about me you will come to learn about here, I just don’t know how to describe it all right now.

 So here is a picture of me, its old and candid, but I need to get more new pics of me. Anyways here I am playing with some isis wings; it’s one of my favorite pictures  My hair is also dyed red now lol

 Also here is my little love you will probably hear me talk about quite a bit, this is my boy petey

 What will you find here? Random posts about wants, desires, life, fun, food, bellydance, whatever I feel like. I hope you enjoy!